 |
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| The Secret is Out! in Chapter
2 of Help! |
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| Yes, boys and girls, the "Secret" is the "Law" of Attraction, which, alas, has failed to attract Bin Laden, for the secret caves of the Bora Bora are too secretive, and more importantly because it is a bogus "law". |
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| (A) Do YOU wish to
know about the secret family compound,
called
Insect Nation, whose leader is Master---a.k.a
Deepak Chopra, fondly referred to as "Deepee" by
his family---and whose main follower
is Grasshopper---Rhonda Byrne, author
of The Secret? |
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| If you were born after
1980, you should Google David Carradine
in the hit TV series Kung
Fu. Carradine
was called Grasshopper by some blind
Chinese dude that played Master. |
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| (B) This chapter introduces
you to the insect family, which has Bug
Bob (self-help guru Bob Proctor), Mocha-Mantis
(Lisa Nichols, the African-American self-help
guru), She-Mantis (Marci Shimoff, the
MBA self-help guru), and other memorable
characters. |
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| (C) YOU will
learn to play the insects' favorite game,
Mantodea
Sudoku! |
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| (D) YOU will
be introduced to The Fly, a youthful
hero
who has superior talents that we lesser
mortals don't have. |
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| (E) YOU will be introduced
to Pest Marcy Feel, Grasshopper's she-buddy,
whose specialty is her ability to "feel" herself
and "manifest" all the time. |
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| Excerpts from Chapter 2: Insect Nation |
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| Chopra's "Qualifications"and Larry King Live |
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| The only regret I have in writing this book is the time I spent reading The
Secret - time that was irrevocably lost. When I completed The
Secret, I was left with the thought that Rhonda Byrne makes even Deepak Chopra appear intelligent. The Grasshopper is almost one up on the Master. Among the collection of self-help books, it would be safe to say The
Secret, by far, is the most appalling. I am trying to set aside annoyance as I write, but at this moment it is the dominant emotion, much like the indignation that the prominent comic Lewis Black feels. And so, to use a tactic from the Grasshopper's Secret, I shall "go with that feeling" for a while and see where it gets me. |
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| Grasshopper begins with the gathering of insects that have appellations resembling human names, such as Bob Proctor, Bob Doyle, Dr. Joe Vitale, John Assaraf, Lisa Nichols, Marci Shimoff, etc. These are specimens from some strange world where their qualifications and professions include such oxymoronic combinations as philosopher/author/personal coach; metaphysician/marketing specialist/author; entrepreneur/moneymaking expert; philosopher/chiropractor/healer/personal transformation coach; psychologist/trainer in the field of mind potential; author/teacher/life coach/motivational speaker; and investment trainer/teacher/wealth specialist. Recently, Chopra's qualifications on Larry
King Live read as doctor/spiritual leader/healer. Could this be an abbreviation for endocrinologist/Hindu physicist/sesame-seed-oil-massage-parlor owner/Zen-Hindu-Buddhist-Christian-Sufi master/yoga instructor/ghee-recipe designer/mantra chanter?
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| As noted before, Grasshopper, by her own admission, skipped basic science and went on to read "complex books" on quantum physics to gain a "perfect" understanding of the topic. Her "law of attraction" is the kind of transparent ignorance that results if you ventured into calculus before studying the multiplication table. |
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| Let's find out what insects are drawn to Grasshopper's law of attraction. |
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